Parenting Blog

Brigham Chen

FAML 120 Parenting Skills

Parent Skills

There are three main skills I learned from this class. First, reward. Second, punishment. Third, grit.

Reward is something that I learned what I should perform as a parent. In my opinion, it is the most difficult thing to balance. We do not want to let them feel prideful because of too much compliment. If we do not give enough compliments, they may not have the motivation to improve themselves.

Balancing the use of rewards and compliments in parenting is undoubtedly a challenging task. On one hand, we want to encourage our children's self-esteem and self-worth, which is why we offer praise and compliments for their achievements. However, as you rightly pointed out, showering them with too much praise can inadvertently lead to a sense of entitlement and overconfidence. On the other hand, withholding compliments and rewards may potentially dampen their motivation to improve themselves and reach their full potential. Finding the middle ground is essential. We should focus on praising effort and progress, rather than just innate abilities. This approach teaches children the value of hard work and resilience, helping them develop a healthy sense of self-esteem and motivation to constantly learn and grow. Ultimately, it's a fine balance that requires thoughtful consideration and adaptability as each child is unique in their needs and responses to positive reinforcement.

Punishment is the object that I discourage the most. It is one thing that should never be practiced at home. It should never be treated as a method to teach kids. If any parents are using it, they should find a way to replace this practice. In my philosophy, punishment can never bring good things to life. 

There is something we can teach when we should correct our children. We want to correct them because we want them to learn how to discipline themselves. Effective discipline involves open and honest communication, setting clear boundaries, and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. By replacing punitive practices with positive reinforcement and respectful dialogue, parents can create an atmosphere of trust, mutual understanding, and personal growth. The goal is to help children develop a sense of responsibility and empathy, rather than instilling fear or resentment through punitive measures. Punishment destroys trust. They cannot learn by being punished. They need to learn by experience, but not by feeling bad.

Grit is something that I never thought about why it is important for a kid to grow. Grit is one of the most valuable characteristics to have to be a better person. It is really hard for me to develop this skill for me, and it is harder for me to help kids develop grit.

 To foster grit in kids, set high expectations, promote a growth mindset, teach resilience, and encourage effort over innate abilities. Be a role model for grit, discuss your own experiences, and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. Help them set achievable goals, manage their time, and become independent in their responsibilities. When they face challenges, encourage problem-solving and perseverance. Expose them to diverse experiences, and provide constructive feedback for improvement. Remember that developing grit is a gradual process, unique to each child, and by creating a supportive environment that values determination and resilience, you can help your children build this valuable characteristic to face life's challenges with confidence.

Overall, these three elements will be what I am going to be aware of the most.  I recognize the importance of striking a delicate balance in guiding my children's growth and development. As I continue to navigate the challenges of parenthood, I will keep an environment of trust, open communication, and continuous learning, with these principles at the forefront of my parenting approach.

Citation:

Sanjeev Datta. (n.d.). A Guide on How to Discipline a Child. Sanjeev Datta. https://sanjeevdatta.com/a-guide-on-how-to-discipline-a-child

Carver, L. (2019, December 11). How to Face and Overcome Challenges in Life with Confidence. Chopra. https://chopra.com/articles/how-to-face-overcome-challenges-in-life-with-confidence